This is why I’m not following you on Twitter

Posted by johnkobeck on July 4, 2014as , , ,

Contemporary Fine Art Photography by John Kobeck

Sometimes people on twitter get annoyed when people they follow don’t follow back. As I log into my twitter account this morning I notice I picked up 33 new followers overnight. So now I must decide, out of the 33, which ones I want to follow back. There are many who would just automatically follow back everyone. Those are the people who typically have an equal follower-to-following ratio. I tried that the first couple of years. It got extremely irritating having my feed clogged up with all the sales-pitches and ridiculous selfies. Unfortunately Twitter does not yet have an option to turn off or control which people appear in your stream. Facebook allows you to remain friends with someone and still silence them so you never see a single post of theirs. One would think, Twitter would offer such a feature; especially since Twitter allows an unlimited number of followers. Facebook on the other hand restricts you to 5000 friends. So its ass backwards.

So the first thing I do is to examine the 33 new followers to see which ones are actually real people. I weed out all the businesses and corporations first. That removes about four. Then I examine which people are actually spammers. Usually the ones with a sexy girl with big boobs are the spam-bots. But of course I need to verify this first by looking at each ones stream individually. I wouldn’t want to accidentally remove any legit sexy girls. This by the way is very easy to do. I look at each ones twitter feed and see what they are tweeting. If all of their tweets are a link to sell some product, its a spam bot. Four spam-bots are identified.

My next target is the SEO people. I examine each followers profile carefully. If there is any mention of SEO, branding, networking, website design, social media, – they are gone. I hate, hate, HATE SEO people. When the internet was a new thing, perhaps that was a plausible business. But anyone in that field today is probably unemployable in a real job. The SEO people annoy the shit out of me with their constant self promotion bullshit. I have to deal with salespeople in the real world; I come on social media to escape from that bullshit, not get more of it. Six SEO people are identified and target neutralized.

Next I look for anyone who uses Twitter for self promotion of any kind. Sometimes you will see the word “author” in their headline. Many times this simply means that if you follow them they are going to be annoying as fuck trying to sell you an e-book (that no real publisher would ever touch). I also find a couple of “fitness gurus” in there, and one Asian woman in a bikini who says that for $4.99 she can get me 1000 followers. Me love you long time. Eight more people are gone

So now I am down to what I think are 11 real people out of 33. Next we look for any Republicans. Sometimes there will be a flag in their profile pic. Or tweets about God or the right to bear arms. Four republicans are removed.

Seven people left. Out of the seven, four are artist. So I look closely at the artist. I identify two who’s work I can relate to. I like it. So I follow those two back. The other two artist, I really don’t care for their work. I don’t delete them, but I don’t follow them back either.

That leaves just three people. I examine their profiles and tweets carefully. I don’t really identify anyone that may piss me off at some future date. I decide to follow back two of the three because they actually had some interesting things to say. The other one mostly tweeted about how boring her life was in Ohio. Blah

That is basically how I keep my twitter stream uncluttered and free from bullshit. If you want me to follow you, you need to be a real person, not selling something, and actually have something interesting, intelligent and relevant to say. Want to see if your worthy of my follow-back? Follow me here and mention this post.

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